Screw the System

Here's the thing about the Greyhound; it's disorganised, unreliable and unpredictable. This suits me just fine. Usually.

I went to book my ticket to San Fransisco online because it's cheaper. Unfortunately, the website didn't like my Australian credit card, so I asked my cousin's hubby Jeremy if he could book it for me.

Greyhound charges an additional $18 if the credit card holder is not travelling, so I told Jeremy to print the ticket under his name.

"What if they check your ID?" he asked

I laughed 350+ hours on the greyhound and they'd never asked me for ID. Actually they had asked me once, but that was because minors aren't allowed to ride unaccompanied. They were checking that I wasn't under 16. Never anything to do with the ticket.

"I guarantee they won't ask for ID" I told Jeremy confidently.

"But it says you need to show ID with the ticket" he said.

"Trust me" I was being plain cocky now "I know the greyhound. There's no way they'll ask for ID."

"She knows what she's doing" piped in cousin Sharon.

"OK'" Jeremy said. He looked unconvinced.

I got to the greyhound station my usual 2 minutes early. I was at the back of the line. It was taking longer than usual. I finally made it to the front and handed the driver my ticket.

"ID?" he said

WHAAAAAT????? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!!

"Ummmmmm....." I faltered

"Are you Jeremy?"

Time to look sweet and innocent.

"No. That's my Dad's name" I said in my best 13 year old voice.

The impatient greyhound worker didn't care.

"Go to the ticket office and tell them the name on your ticket doesn't match your ID"

Bugger. I went to the ticket office. No one was there. this is greyhound, remember? The bus was due to leave any second. After being called on the PA system, a ticket officer eventually appeared.

"I can't re-issue this ticket" he told me "the name has to match the traveller"

"Oh. My Dad booked it."

"Well, I can't re-issue it."

"But why?" I asked innocently

"Because the name has to match the credit card name"

"Oh. But why?"

Yeah, I was playing the 'but why' game.

"It's a special promotion for internet fares"

"Oh."

"If you want to get on that bus you'll have to buy another ticket."

My eyes grew wide.

"But... but... but I.... I can't"

"I'm sorry, maybe your dad can get a refund. There's another bus that leaves in 5 hours, otherwise you'll just have to buy another ticket"

I can't fake cry, but I can make it look like I'm holding back tears. I did that now. My breathing was starting to get heavy, and occasional whimpering noises were escaping my mouth.

"Can't i just pay the $18?" I asked desperately. "I don't have enough for another ticket, but I can pay $18".

The man behind the counter looked at me somewhat sympathetically. I was giving him my best puppy dog eyes. He called his supervisor over and told him what was going on.

"You're Dad was trying to get out of paying the $18, wasn't he?" said the supervisor

I shrugged. "I dunno... maybe"

He looked at me. More puppy dog eyes.

"OK re-issue her a ticket and tell them to hold the bus"

BOO-YA!!!! VICTORY!!!!

The bus was 15 minutes late. Everyone hated me when I stepped on the bus. I didn't care; I just saved $18.

Hot and Cold

Canadians like to talk about the weather. A lot. I’ve spent at least 15 minutes everyday, for the last year talking about the weather. I’m willing to take some responsibility for this; winter was long and cold, and the way I got through it was by whinging about it. Unfortunately Canadians, weren’t particularly sympathetic. Every time I complained about the cold, I would get promises of how much colder it would get and stories about all the different body parts that can freeze.

It’s summer now, I assumed the weather talk would stop. Not so, everyone is complaining about the heat, but I can’t get enough of it. These days, when I’m busking in the glorious sunshine, every second person exclaims “it’s too hot to be out here” or “you poor thing, standing out in the heat all day”. It’s only 24°, but finally I’m getting the sympathy I deserve.

Fun fact: In winter, when talking about the temperature, Canadians say it’s -18°, -27° with windchill. In summer, it’s 24°, 30° with humidity.