Hotel Management 101

I've spent the last 3 days learning how to run a hotel from Sue, the manager. The stuff I have to do here isn't particularly difficult, doing it Sue's way is the problem. This 9 room, boutique hotel, is her baby - right down to the most minute detail. Although I'm reasonably competent at this job, detail isn't my thing, but don't tell Sue that.

Sue: "Make sure you put a '#' before you write down the room number."

Me, thinking: 'What's the difference?'

Me, saying: Nothing

Sue: "We make fruit plates for breakfast. I like to make a pattern with the oranges and melon, like this."

Me, thinking: 'How about I dump massive chunks of fruit on a plate and be done with it?'

Me, saying: Nothing

Sue: "You can do whatever you like, as long as it looks pretty."

Me, thinking: 'I'm totally going to make a fruit face!'

Me, saying: Nothing

Sue: "You're doing a really good job folding those sheets!"

Me, thinking: 'Wow, folding fitted sheets is the hardest thing in the world. Lucky I'm good at origami.'

Me, saying: Nothing

Sue: "We have to make sure the beds always look attractive, so when you've finished, stand back and see if it looks nice."

Me, thinking: 'A sleeping bag in a bus shelter looks nice to me.'

Me, saying: Nothing

Click here to check out the hotel I'm managing.

Fun fact: On www.ehow.com, 'How to Fold a Fitted Sheet' has 8 dot points, while 'How to Run a Hotel' only has 4.

And Then?

What's next?

I'm flying to Montana.

Erm, why?

Because it's landlocked.

Ummmmm?

I'm looking after a small hotel there for a few weeks.

Why?

Because the woman who normally runs it is going away.

Who is this person?

My Mum's friend's daughter's aunt's friend of a friend. Or something like that.

OK, but why are YOU doing this?

Someone along that line said "Maya's in North America, she'll do it."

Any idea how to run a hotel?

No, but it can't be any worse than the boat.