Free Gas

Yesterday didn't start too well. I was behind on my breakfast duties, I was feeling a bit crook and one of my cleaners was having a serious marital crisis. Then my mate Richard called and I was happy. He told me he was in Missoula, only an hour and a half a way; all I had to do was pick him up. I was so excited that I ran to the car without a license, money or keys. The car didn't start. I went back for the keys.

I was so excited I didn't even check to see where I was supposed to be going. I ended up, not going a completely wrong direction, but taking a scenic route. No matter. It was quite pretty, and I had time.

Eventually I saw signs to Missoula. I missed the main highway, and ended up on some old dodgy one. No matter. It was quite pretty, and I had time. The road wasn't in the best condition; big rocks had fallen from nearby mountains onto the road. I dodged one, then another; James Bond eat your heart out! I smashed straight into the third. BANG. Bugger. No matter, accelerate through the pain, it'll be fine. It wasn't. I pulled over when the car started to make horrible groaning sounds. It had a flat tyre. Nay, it had two flat tyres. Awesome. I wished I knew how to change a tyre, but even more than that, I wished there were two spare tyres in the car.

I fumbled through the glove box and found the number for AAA.

"What's your policy number?"

"mhsdfjksaglre"

"Are you Sue?"

"No."

"I'm sorry, we can only provide assistance if the AAA member is in the car"

"Oh"

Bugger.

I fumbled through to find an insurance policy. I called them.

"Are you Sue?"

"Yes"

"OK. Where are you?" the woman asked. A much better response.

"I don't know. I was driving from Philipsburg to Missoula. I'm somewhere in between."

"Are you on the i-90?" (that's the main highway)

"No, but I can see it. I'm on a road that is running parallel to it."

"Did you pass (insert random animal) town?"

"I don't know"

"How about (insert some kind of land formation)-ville"

"I don't know"

"I'm going to need more information than that"

"OK"

"OK, so where are you?"

"I don't know."

"Are there any landmarks around you? Any signs or houses?"

"No."

"Well, I'm going to need a bit more information than that."

"OK"

"Where were you coming from?"

"Philipsburg"

"And you're on the way to Missoula?"

"Yes"

"So you're on the i-90?"

"No, I can see the i-90"

"Are you on a highway?"

"I don't know?"

"Did you pass (name of famous lumberjack)?

"I don't know."

"Well, I'm going to need a bit more information than that."

"OK"

And so it went on like this until we figured out that I was on the old highway parallel to the i-90. The insurance company sent out a tow truck for me. It would cost $84 with the insurance and about $180 without. I didn't really want to put this against Sue's insurance but I didn't really want to pay $180 either.

I asked the driver how much he thought tyres would cost.

"Well you're looking at about $85 for a new tyre, so $100 all up, but you might get a bit off for warranty".

I had no idea what that meant, but I was pretty sure I was going to get screwed over because I don't have a clue about cars or tyres, and you can tell.

This was looking like a very expensive day. Fortunately I factor these kind of costs into my budget. I generally travel quite frugally, but I end up spending as much as everyone else because of money I waste due to disorganisation and stupidity. This includes: paying extra for accommodation for not booking in advance, booking transport last minute, missing transport and having to buy another ticket, losing cameras, wallets, ipods, tickets, sleeping bags, shoes etc. I recently lost my ipod, but it is magically being returned to me, so I figured the tyres were just a way of evening things out.

We got to the tyre place. I didn't have my wallet. I told the man I was 90% sure I'd memorized my credit card number and he could just type it in. At the last second I asked if it made a difference if I was a AAA member. He said yes. I showed him Sue's membership card. He said it was all covered and drove off. Awesome.

The tyre man came over. he'd looked at the car.

"I think we're going to have to put 4 new tires on"

I knew they were going to screw me over.

"Hmmmm" I pondered "is there any way we could..... not?"

He rambled on about the balance of the car, then "I'll see what I can do"

He came back minutes later and told me that he'd found 4 tyres with similar tread, so he'd put them on and take the old tyres. Sounded reasonable to me.

I went for a walk, they did their thing, then the guy took me inside for the payment. I prayed my credit card number would work.

He typed things into the computer.

"Oh" he said "it looks like you don't owe us anything."

He showed me the invoice:

4x $40.00 = 160.00

-$160.00

Grand Total: $0.00

That made absolutely no sense. My mouth fell open, partly in shock and partly to ask what the hell that meant. I decided asking questions was a terrible idea. I grabbed the keys and drove off in a flash. So after getting myself 2 flat tyres, all that happened was I got a tow that saved me money on gas.