Yeah, this is a timer shot
I didn't just take over her hotel; I took over everything. I got her house, her dog, her car, her cat and even a few of her friends. Now this is my Saturday night.
Dinner for one. I flick through the CD collection to find some mood music. Enya, Italian Dinner Music, Mozart in the Evening, Spa Music; in the end I go for The Three Tenors- it would go nicely with the pasta I was having. Not my usual pasta meal with stolen spaghetti and nasty pesto from the free food section, this one has chicken. And cheese. Parmesan cheese. Organic parmasen cheese. I light a candle and use a cloth napkin. I talk to the dog over dinner. Afterwards, we dance.
After bathing, I get into my robe and slippers and settle down to read a book by the fake fire. I'm surrounded by titles such as Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh, Selected Maya Angelo Poems and How to Be Your Own Best Friend.
I'm lying. As if I'm going to read a book. I look for a DVD; they are all art house foreign films, but I'm not in the mood. I snuggle up in front of TV to watch The Biggest Loser; a ritual that's not complete without a bag of cookies and a block of chocolate.
Time to check my email. Someone has forwarded an email with funny pictures of cats, another person sends some jokes about about Rabbis and doctors. Time for me to send them back an e-card or two.
It's 10.30, time for bed. I retire to my room with it's 200 pillows and lavender incense. The sounds of the rainforest put me to sleep.
Things that make me unlike a 60 year old divorcee:
- I don't have an ex husband to bitch about
- My cigar butts are in the flower bed
- My slippers are made of duct tape
- I don't know the cat's name
Moral Dilemma: Sue has The Oprah Winfrey Show: 20th Anniversary Collection on DVD but it's unopened, still in the plastic. I desperately want to watch it; I mean, it's there to be watched right? Should I open it?
Watch it.
ReplyDeleteHa! Brilliant! The cat's name is still Phoebe ;-) You should so not open the prized, highly collectable, limited edition still packaged for a high re-sale DVD box set :-)
ReplyDeleteHave fun, I've only been in New Orleans one night but I highly recommend it... my Saturday night didn't end until 7am Sunday!
I own the DVD set..open it..it is sooo worth it
ReplyDelete-Kallan
Phoebe! Of course! Maybe you should stop showing off about your Saturday night Richard.
ReplyDeleteDon't you think the reason Oprah does shows is so people can watch them? I tend to agree with Hannah and Kallan, but maybe that's because I want to watch it SO BADLY!!! I will let the voters decide.